I also happen to own a pretty decent car, a 2002 Porsche (PORSH-uh) Boxster S. It's not as pretty as it once was (it's seen a lot of track wear), or as I would eventually like it to become, but it functions absolutely beautifully. Notice the "S" in the model name. I happen to know a little about what makes an "S" model, and "S" model. In Porsche land this means the car will likely have a few more horsepower and torque, as well as a sport suspension, better brakes, and a few other things. For my car specifically it meant more horsepower and torque, 6 speed transmission, "Big Red" brakes, a slightly stiffer suspension, and an extra radiator for more cooling. Substantial enough to make the car worth the extra money.
So back to the point. This whole thought process started a while back when I first saw a Corolla S in the wild. It's not like I expected to see one, but one day there it was. A Corolla with a body kit and this big red "S" on the trunk lid. At first I chuckled. But knowing what I know about "S" model designations (at least with-regard-to Porsche) I figured I'd give Toyota the benefit of the doubt. Probably something (other than the body kit) to make the car a better performer than the other Corolla models.
So now fast forward a year or so, and a friend and I are on our way to the 2008 ALMS race at the Long Beach Grand Prix. In this instance he is driving his slightly and tastefully improved Audi A6 (so yeah, another German Performance Auto snob). On our way we notice a Corolla S (or two) and for once I am not driving. So I decide I'm finally going to find out what makes a Corolla S an S. I go to my favorite car data site, edmunds.com to look for the technical specs of the S as compared to the Standard. Once there I see that the S has no more horsepower (132), no more torque (128), same size brakes, same transmission.... everything is the same... except the $2,000 body kit. My friend and I have a good laugh over that one. Can't believe someone would spend $2,000 to put a body kit on a Corolla. But there you have it they have. So OK, good for them it's their money.
And now fast forward again to bring us to today. I see a lot more Corolla S' on the road now than every before. In fact I probably see more S' than I do any other model of Corolla. So there are a lot of people spending that extra $2K on a body kit that does absolutely nothing to enhance the performance of the car. Nothing! If the car was unstable at 80, then some extra aerodynamic aids would make sense. But as other's are driving different models at freeway speeds and not winding up in bushes all over the place, I am left to believe that the car is not dangerous without the body kit. It's also not a particularly well done body kit, so it's not as if they car somehow becomes "cool" by adding the kit. After all it is a Corolla. But that's not the really funny part.
I think it's incredibly funny when someone with an "S" thinks their Corolla is now magically some kind of Sports Car. They wind up next to me at a stop light and appear to think that if they can get in front of me, and stay there, they have somehow bested a Porsche. Demonstrating that I, and everyone else who owns a Porsche has wasted their money. It is actually kind of funny to see their car lurch from the line, and scurry up to speed. Comical really. In most cases I let them have their fun and hang back. I imagine them going home and telling all their friends that they beat a race-prepped Porsche off the line. You laugh, but I bet that is exactly what they are doing. How can I be so sure?
I have a friend who owns one of those Scion xB's. A few months ago he comes up to me bragging that he beat a 911 on the freeway. I asked him if he was sure. So he proceeds to tell me all about how he and this lady were next to each other on the freeway. And they both floored their cars and he won. I asked if he was sure the 911 driver knew they were racing. His response was "Oh yeah!". So here's a guy in a car that could not possibly hold a candle to even the slowest of Porsche's who thinks his car is so great that he can take on, and beat a 911. And nothing I have said has convinced him otherwise.
So the next time you see an "S" on the back of car, remember it may mean something Special, or it may mean something Special Educational.
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